Arts & Leisure Suit

Pipe-Up, Second Congress, July 2012

The Smoke’n Traveler

Club Ambassador, Mr. S. Griffith, sports his pipe near the Space Needle in Seattle and along the shores of Puget Sound. Mr. Griffith is puffing Mac Baren Connoisseur in a Czech pipe. He fashions the sporty look with a  dark fleece zip-up, sunglasses, and the same shirt he had on last issue. Mr. Griffith enjoys burley tobacco, buying local, and brief nudity.

The Back Page
Musings By Mr. J. Back
 I like cheese. If I were a cheese I would be a Gouda and I would wear shoes made of cheese. I would call them, my cheese shoes.

“I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgement in all human affairs.” -Albert Einstein, 1950

Executive Reflections

Mr. M. Walker, President (someone please help us)

By Mr. M. Walker, President; Inretio via Insanus
Pipe-Up, Second Congress, July 2012

I get to sit at the head of the table. And I get to second motions, or approve them, still not exactly sure how that works. The state of the economy is good. As president I have kept unemployment at 0%, I think we all have jobs. And not only have I balanced the budget, though the Treasurer can’t provide an exact figure we’re enjoying a surplus. So I’m a shoe-in for re-election. And boy did I get one over on the Club. I can’t be impeached unless I agree to be impeached! Ha ha. Though the Vice-President insists I can lose my position by demonstrating clear and obvious signs of insanity. I’m having him watched. Pipe tobacco. I like opening new tins with bright shiny quarters and burying my face in the contents. While issues are debated at our monthly congress on Neon’s patio I often watch the birds and wonder how they fly. This concludes my reflections for this month. For now I’m reflecting on what I’ll reflect on next month. “Don’t mislay your pipe.” 

—The President.

MAAAHHH! FIRE HOT!

Ask Mr. B. Johnson if fire is hot and he will undoubtably agree that it is. Mr. B. Johnson recently discovered this fact while firing his bowl during the Euro 2012 Ireland v. Spain football match. I give Mr. B. Johnson a smoking thumbs up as his personal discovery in pain ignited the idea for the space filler below.  However, I would add, that first and foremost one should mind the pipe and not the TV during the ignition sequence. (Ireland lost 4-0...bugger!)

HOW TO: Lighting Your Pipe
By smokingpipes.com

Here are a couple of easy steps to ensure a nicely lit pipe.

(1) First comes the 'charring' light (also called the 'false' light), the purpose of which is to expel extra moisture from the tobacco and prepare a nice even bed for the 'true' light. To achieve this, light your match of lighter and apply it to the tobacco, moving it in a circular motion around the entire surface of the tobacco. While doing this, take a series of shallow puffs on the pipe. It may be that the tobacco swells up in a spot or two and seems to unravel.
That is the purpose of the charring light, to balance out the tobacco moisture and density.

(2) Allow this light to go out and tamp the tobacco back down even with the top of the bowl. You may find it useful to twist or spin your tamp in a circular motion while doing this. This is the point where many pipe smokers ruin a good packing job by tamping too hard. You should use a very light touch, wanting only to return the tobacco to the level it was before the charring light.

(3) Relight your match of lighter and apply it to the tobacco, moving it in a circular motion around the entire surface of the tobacco. While doing this, take a series of shallow puffs on the pipe. This time the tobacco should not unravel and puff up as it did before. Extinguish your source of fire, sit back, relax and enjoy your pipe.
Hopefully, by following these instructions, you have successfully lit your pipe and not your thumb.

From The Jar

By Mr. J. Stepp
Second Congress, July 2012
 
A “pants-off” review of the leaf offerings at Straus Downtown (Cincinnati) and a pairing of each with drink.

Fountain Square:
Mild and nutty. A hint of vanilla but not sweet. Appropriately named with everything in the middle of the palate. An everyday smoke.  Lager or red ale. Smoke Fountain Square while wearing a straw hat. Or smoke the hat.

Mercantile:
Sharp and pleasantly bitter. Acidic. Vegetal. Leather and cumin. A bit of chocolate and cinnamon on the finish. IPA or a hoppy porter. Smoke Mercantile after sex. Especially if you paid for it. And you did. One way or another.

Stadium:
Black as coal. Rich and mellow but without the depth I expected. Burns fast. Tawny Port or a mellow Stout. Stadium is a great quick smoke while doing your
business. On the toilet. Be careful with the ashes.

KY Gentleman:

Mr. J. Stepp

Crisp, tart and spicy. Sharp and biting. Acidic with a dry finish. Rye whiskey instead of bourbon. Smoke Kentucky Gentleman after you’ve behaved badly. Or intend to.

Know Your Leaf; Burley

 By Mr. S. Griffith, Club Ambassador
Second Congress, July 2012
 
  What we know as Burley tobacco today is generally credited to a Mr. Webb of Higginsport, Ohio who, in the year of 1864 began growing some seed he had acquired from Bracken County, Kentucky. He found that the leaf both looked and cured differently then what he was accustomed to. Buyers took notice of the product and quickly snapped up the quality leaf for a premium. By the late 1800’s, Ohio, Kentucky and Tennessee were producing a great deal of this new leaf with the primary market being the venerable Cincinnati, Ohio. Today, roughly 70% of burley tobacco is grown in Kentucky.

By Mr. S. Griffith, Ambassador

  Modern burley is still produced much in the same traditional way as it has been in the past. It is distinctive for its “air curing” as it hangs in large barns, dark for eight or more weeks where it turns from green to yellow then brown. The U.S. Midwest’s natural climate promotes beneficial curing conditions that produce leaf that top tier buyers most desire.
  Burley contains very little sugar which gives it a dryer and more robust aroma than its Virginian brethren. Today, burley is very popular in aromatic blends thanks to its absorption properties and is often found in top shelf Danish blends for pipe smoking.

Straus Trip a Success!

Straus trip attendees convene later in the day at Neons for the Reds game.
(From Left) Mr. B. Johnson, the oddly coy Mr. J. Stepp, Mr. J. Carr, and the overly enthusiastic Mr. M. Walker.

By Mr. J. Carr, 
Pipe-Up Editor & Chief
Second Congress, July 2012

The long planned Club journey to Straus Tobacconists on Walnut finally took place on Saturday, June 24th. Mr. B. Johnson and Mr. J. Carr were met by Mr. M. Walker outside of Neon’s on 12th at noon and subsequently made the trek into the Central Business District.  Upon arrival at the shop, member Mr. J. Stepp was met on the street exiting his vehicle and all were elated to see he was wearing pants.
 The staff appeared uneased by our entry, seemingly prepared for debauchery to ensue, but the mood quickly lightened after dollars appeared in the hands of members eager to spend.
 The task of selecting tobaccos was undertaken and with the till rung and closed members retired to the chairs to set their purchases alight.
 The cigar gents were obviously impressed by the shear volume of smoke Club members could billow with each draw of the briar and new acquaintances were quickly made. Conversation of pipe, cigar and sport were had along with a brief interjection by Mr. Stepp that pants should be optional in everyday life. Oddly, none present were concerned about the interjection although none volunteered to pursue the topic further.

A stop off at Knock Back Nats on the way back to Neon’s for a tap inspection.

As the afternoon was warm Mr. B. Johnson suggested a libation lest we fall ill to the vapors of the suns rays. All agreed and the club bid adieus to the fine gents of Straus and promptly headed to Knock Backs on 7th. A fine reception was given by the staff upon entry and medicinal libations and chicken wings were  promptly served.

Mr. J. Carr, VP

 Mr. Johnson’s advise proved correct as none of the members succumbed to sun vapors. With this in mind, members set off once again to convene with others at Neon’s patio for the Redlegs game and more medicinal portions to aid in counter-acting the moon’s harmful gravitational pull which, according to Mr. Johnson, affects the intestinal fortitude and eyesight.

Second Congress Held

(from Left) Mr. J. Carr, VP., Mr. J. Back, Mr. R. Browne, Mr. B. Johnson, Tres., Mr. M. Walker, Pres.

Summary:

Wednesday, June 6th marked the Second Congress of the Pipe Club with all members in good standing in attendance with exception of Mr. S. Griffith who was excused due to his lack of being there. Apparently, gallivanting around Seattle taverns and tobacco shops at the time was more appealing (See ‘The Smoke’n Traveler’ p.4). After the superior staff of Neon’s fulfilled the libation requests of the club (more than once) the meeting was called to order. Some stuff was said, a few motions, probably a vote on something, Presidential rambling went on for a bit, and then we adjourned to the bar.

My Big Johnson Report
From the Ministry of Finance & Records
Mr. B. Johnson, Treasurer
A fairly half-arsed attempt at keeping track of what we have done, might do, and what we could do but probably won’t. Also, a sketchy financial record of contributions made to my personal vacation fund.

Treasurer’s Report
“As of June 27, 2012, the Pipe Club vault, i.e., my desk drawer, contained $50.  As of June 28, 2012, I have a new tie.  Thanks to members Mr. R. Browne, Mr. J. Carr, Mr. M. Walker and Mr. J. Back.” 


Minutes: 2nd Congress
As recorded by Mr. B. Johnson, The few moments I actually listened:

The Pipe Club meeting of June 6, 2012, was called to order by the President. The Club recognized and toasted the anniversary of D-Day. (More than once.)
Old Business: The crest, designed by Mr. J. Carr, was approved and accepted by acclamation. Mr. H. Horn was accepted as an official nominee, sponsored by Mr. J. Back.
New Business: A nominee shall serve a one-month probationary period.  During that period, the nominee's sponsor shall take him (not her, never a her) to Straus or another acceptable tobacconist.  If a nominee is accepted to the Club, he (not she, never a she) shall provide the Club with a $20 membership fee and 2 oz. of tobacco.
  The Club shall journey (leisurely) to Straus Tobacconist at a date to be determined.  Future tentative trips shall include an adventure on the Bourbon Trail and to Keeneland by way of motorized vehicle(s). 
  Warm weather meetings shall occur monthly at Neon's, and the first round of libations shall be purchased by said establishment courtesy of Mr. J. Back (Member and co-proprietor of Neons).
A discussion and vote was undertaken to define the term “round of libation” as it pertains to the individual; A “round of libation” shall consist of no more than four libations for each individual and no less than three.” All present voted Aye, none voted Nay; Mr. J. Back  abstained as he was in the bathroom at the time of discussion and vote. Members extend their gratitude to Mr. J. Back for his generosity.
  Electronic mail shall be the official mode of communication for the Club members.
  Due to the annual holiday surrounding the birth of our great nation, the next meeting was scheduled for Sunday, July 8, 2012, at 2:00 p.m.
  Hearing no more new business the President called for a motion to adjourn, which was received and seconded. The meeting was adjourned.

Mr. B. Johnson, Treasurer

 Post Script: At the conclusion of the meeting, Mr. B. Johnson was approached by three women (who appeared suburban in dress and tone) who requested information about the Club.  Mr. B. Johnson shared the information and his pipe.  The three women were designated official groupies. 

The Back Page

Pipe-Up, First Congress Edition
June 2012

Musings By Mr. J. Back
I like hats. Hats are good. I wear one. Sometimes I do not wear one. When I take one off I am not wearing one.

 

The Smoke'n Traveler
Club Member Mr. S. Griffith sports his pipe along the surf somewhere in North Carolina.
Mr. Griffith is sporting a fish tail pipe, plaid fedora and blue tee. He enjoys long walks on the beach, baseball and puppies.

First Treasurer’s Report

From The Ministry of Finance
By Mr. B. Johnson, Treasurer
Pipe-Up, First Congress Edition, June 2012

“We have more than eight bucks and less than one hundred.  I will check the sock and count it next time I find it. If we need money now, I’ll look, otherwise I‘ll just wait til laundry day."

Mr. B. Johnson, Treasurer

Coat-Of-Arms Progressing

Pipe-Up, First Congress Edition
June 2012
Displayed in sketch form at the First Congress, members voted to proceed forward with the official club coat-of-arms. The design features 2 crossed pipes on a gold field above a green chevron with 3 tobacco leaves above a flame in a red field. The ceremonial version (pictured in the masthead) features the addition of a dragon mascot, billowing smoke, tobacco leaves, and a banner containing the motto; Fraternitatis et Fides ad Pipio, which means something in Latin.
Mr. J. Carr will present this progress at the Second Congress scheduled for June 6th.  In addition to the coat-of-arms sketch, he will also be presenting the First Congressional Edition of this newsletter which he is desperately trying to finish by filling in the empty space with something that seems pertinent but more than likely is not.

President Calls First Congress

Cincinnati, OH., OTR
Neon’s Unplugged; Patio

May 16th, 2012 marked the first Congress of the Pipe Club as called to order by the duly elected President, Mr. M. Walker. All members in good-standing were in attendance bodily, all be they mentally  misted by various libations as provided by the fine staff of the establishment.
Items of note were the confirmation of the office of Vice- President as held by Mr. J. Carr and the appointment of Mr. B. Johnson to the office of Treasurer. Club dues were submitted by all present with proceeds being used for the future purchase of club necessities mainly tobacco. Mr. Walker presented the club with two 8 oz. bags of fine ribbon cut leaf.
A photograph was taken and toasts were made to mark the occasion whence it was determined that the President was rather long-winded which initiated the vote for adjournment to the bar.

Photo, from Left: Mr. J. Back, Mr. B. Johnson TR , Mr. M. Walker PR, Mr. J. Carr VP, Mr.R. Browne. Photo Credit: Erica the Angled

Pipe-Up, First Congress Edition
June 2012