The 11th Congress

Members gather after the 11th Congress for a group photo. Pictured from left to right—foreground; Mr. B. Joyce, Mr. J. Stepp, Mr. R. Browne, Mr. M. Walker, Mr. M. Flagler, Mr. B. Johnson. Background; Mr. J. McLaughlin, Mr. J. Back, Mr. S Griffith, Mr. C. Farmer, Mr. J. Carr, Mr P. Box.

 

 

The 11th Congress
Neon's Unplugged on April 10, 2013

The 11th Congress convened on April 10th at Neon's.  Present were Messrs. Walker, Carr, Johnson, Griffith, Flagler, Back, Browne, Stepp, Joyce and Pledges J. McLaughlin and C. Farmer.
  Sec.-Treas. Johnson reported $130 in the till. Pledges Farmer and McLaughlin's nominations were unanimously approved.
  In old business, Ambassador Griffith reported on the sponsorship of the Roller Girls.  The club banner has been hung, well-hung I'm sure, in the Cincinnati Gardens.  Vice President Carr and Confessor Back led a discussion regarding the pipe club box, a very fine box I'm sure.  Confessor Back promised to provide members with keys to the box as soon he trusts them.  President Walker proclaimed the May meeting as Founder’s Day to commemorate the first birthday of the club. 
In New Business: Annual dues were established at $20.  Payments were received by the Vice President, Ambassador, Sec.-Treasurer and Mr. McLaughlin.  The Ambassador reported that the buttons were on order.  Two club outings were discussed and approved.  The first is a visit to the Tobacco Festival in Ripley, Ohio, in August, and the second to the USA v. Mexico World Cup Qualifier in Columbus, Ohio, in September.  With that, the meeting was concluded and the members retreated to the bar for official photographs and club shots.

FIeld Trip

Club Field Trip to Carrousel Tobacco Shoppe and The Mustard Club
On the morning of Saturday, March 9th, several members met in an OTR parking lot, permission slips in hand, and prepared to board various vehicles destined north to the Carrousel Keyer Tobacco Shoppe in Roselawn. 2 members had prior commitments and were unable to attend, another 2 were no-shows, and 3 others did not have their permission slips signed so were left behind. Of the 5 that made the trip all were greeted warmly by the Keep.
Members shuffled about the aisles, of which there are two if you count either side of the loose tobacco display, and purveyed the fine wares for sale. Items were purchased; most notably the large wooden pipe that now adorns the heights of the Pipe Box and a stylish new Peterson for Mr. J. Stepp. After sampling many of the smartly blended offerings, the Keep took our picture, we smoked with the Indian and departed. (See Cincinnati Tobacconists for a review)

After parting ways with the Ambassador, whom  had  a thingy or something to do elsewhere, members headed to Mecklenburg Gardens for the monthly meeting of the Händlmaier Mustard Club.   The intentions of an afternoon rumble were soon thwarted after calculating the number and size of the Mustard membership. With a quick vote, rumbling was exchanged for handshakes, split-the-pot donations, and cold pints of beer.  All-in-all a fine group of folks be they somewhat befuddled by the gents with pipes in their midst.

The gents at Mecklenburg Gardens enjoying pints of Bell’s Ale. From left: Mr. B. Johnson, Mr. M. Walker, Mr. J. Stepp, Greg Pilch of Bell’s,  Mr. J. Carr, and Mr. R. Browne.

  The establishment (c. 1865) is a treat in itself, featuring the original Germanic architectural elements intact, including heavy timber beams, stained glass windows, fireplaces and mahogany bar. The 100 year old grape vines flourish in the outdoor beer gardens providing shaded refuge for a quiet briar.

Recommended stop by; The Mustard Club meets the second Saturday of the month at 11am, at Mecklenburg Gardens, 302 East University Avenue, Cincinnati, OH 45219.

New Members

President, VP, and Mr. J. Taylor

Mr. J. Taylor, sponsored by the VP was voted in at the 8th Congress, Mr. Taylor claims the longest briar, enjoys baking, saying  the  word “sports” and the hookah.

VP and Mr. T. Hunter

 Mr. T. Hunter, also sponsored by the VP, joined at the 9th Congress and was voted in absentia as our first international member being that he currently resides in Mexico. Hunter owns/ops a beach bar, prefers Canadians and enjoys buying fish sticks and claiming he caught them.

Mr. J. McLaughlin

  Mr. J. McLaughlin and Mr. C. Farmer, both sponsored by the Ambassador, were voted in at the 11th Congress. Mclaughlin enjoys roller derby, baseball and defying gravity.

Mr. C. Farmer

 Mr. Farmer on the other hand is missing. We plan to send out a search party but we have to meet on it first assuming it makes the agenda. Hang in there mate, we’re coming, eventually, maybe.

The 10th Congress

The 10th Congress

Bockfest Pint Glass Award for Awesomeness or hats, one of the two.

Neon's Unplugged on March 13, 2013 6:08 pm
Mr. S. Griffith, The Ambassador,  substituting for Mr. B. Johnson, Sect-Treas.

Present: Pres. M. Walker, Sgt-at-Arms R. Browne, Ambassador S. Griffith, Confessor J. Back, Mr. J. Stepp, Mr. J. Taylor, Mr. C. Hochscheid.
Old Business: Mr. Ambassador discussed the sponsorship of the Rollergirls. Members expressed intrest in supporting, additional tickets. President will investigate a banner for hanging. President thanks everyone for their participation in the Bockfest March. Pipe Club won Best Dressed. President expressed sadness that the Confessor was not named New Pope. Mr. Ambassador detailed his story about being pulled over upon leaving Carousel.
In New Business:: Opening Day will have Baseball. President asks if we could get into the parade. April 13th, Tobacco Festival in Ripley Ohio. President proclaims interest. Confessor brought the Official Holder of Pipes for the new case. Cost of $35 will be reimbursed with special assessment. President proclaims Kudos to the new box on the wall at Home Base. President is “working on mission statement.”
Free Association Period: 
President asks who next tattoo girl of newsletter will be. President admonishes VP for listing self as editor and chief. It should be editor in chief. Discussion of business man’s day special.  Discussion of KY outing. President recommends Edgewood Tavern. Much discussion of the box. Engraving, etching, shelves and such. Mr. J. Stepp moves to adjorn. Mr. C. Hochsheid seconded. Motion passed.

The Back Page

Musings By Mr. J. Back, The Confessor
I like my phone. My phone is good because my friends call me and I answer when they do. When I get lonely I call myself. But I never answer. This is strange because I always answer my phone. I always leave a message and I always get the message but...but I stopped returning them because I never answer. Perhaps I will text myself. I like texting because it makes words and I like to read. I will text myself something clever. I am texting myself now.

Travel

Pipe Club Sponsors Rollergirls

The Pipe Club of OTR is extremely proud to be an official team sponsor of the 2013 Cincinnati Rollergirls for the entire season. The Pipe Club Executive Sub-Committee made a hasty, but brilliant decision between Congresses to seize the opportunity to sponsor the team alongside other OTR power brokers such as The Famous Neons Unplugged & MOTR Pub. The Pipe Club is featured in the program for each bout and on the website. The club also has a Pipe Club banner hung in the beautiful Cincinnati Gardens for each bout. Mr. S. Griffith, Ambassador  secured season passes, as well, for the purposes of wining & dining nationally renown pipe enthusiast luminaries. Thanks to: Griffith for leading the project, Walker for getting the banner produced.

Cincinnati Tobacconists

By Mr. S. Griffith, Ambassador
In the post-tobacco industry settlement & Ohio Smoking ban world, dedicated Tobacconist shops are dwindling throwbacks to an era that is passing. Though there are fewer and fewer quality shops across the nation, Cincinnati is very fortunate to have two very fine shops within its borders. The Pipe Club of OTR heartily endorses both Straus Tobacconist & Carrousel Keyer Tobacco Shoppe as fine establishments with excellent selections, good prices & fine locations to spend an afternoon having a smoke and a chat.
Straus Tobacconist is the last cigar & tobacco store remaining in the city core making it the last business one can still legally smoke in. Straus has a tremendous selection of cigars in their climate controlled humidor space. They also have a robust selection of reasonably priced pipes & bulk tobaccos. The employees are knowledgeable and enthusiastic about their product. Straus is THE downtown destination for cigar & pipe aficionados.
  Carrousel is a small, but densely packed shop for pipe & cigar enthusiasts in the Roselawn neighborhood. They stock a very robust selection of new and estate pipes at very good prices. They also have a large selection of bulk tobacco varieties for sale. Owner-operators are always on site with friendly advice. Carrousel is on the must-visit list for any Cincinnati tobacco enthusiast.

Straus Tobacconist
Neighborhood: Downtown
410 Walnut Street Cincinnati, OH 45202 • 513) 621-3388
Mon - Fri: 9:00 am - 6:00 pm, Sat: 9:00 am - 4:00 pm

Carrousel Keyer Tobacco Shoppe
Neighborhood: Roselawn
8001 Reading Road Cincinnati, OH 45237 • (513) 821-5350
Mon-Fri: 10:00 am - 5:30 pm, Sat: 9:00 am - 3:00 pm

The 9th Congress

At the 9th Congress, Ace reporter of stuff, Bill Rinehart (seen in mirror) takes a picture.
Pictured from left to right are: Pipe Club members smoking pipes.

The 9th Congress

Neon's Unplugged on February 13, 2013
 
  The 9th Congress convened with the roll call.  Present were Messrs. Walker, Carr, Johnson, Griffith, Browne, Back and Joyce.  Absent were Messrs. Flagler, Stepp, Dolch and Hague.
  In old business it was reported that Ambassador Griffith was successful in obtaining more than 100 "Likes" for the Facebook page.  He is to be rewarded by an adult beverage of his choice. Vice President Carr was commended for his design of the page. Ambassador Griffith also presented and distributed the new business cards for the club.  They shall be distributed to the public during the Bockfest Parade on March 1, 2013.  A prototype of the crest patches was displayed by Mr. Johnson.  They shall be eady for the parade. The Club shall participate in the Bockfest parade.  Members shall convene at Neon's at 4:00 p.m. March 1 before retreating to Arnold's for the parade staging no later than 5:00 p.m.  The attire is a blazer, white shirt, khakis with chapeaus optional.
In New Business:
Mr. Back stated that the club pipe box would be installed at Neon's the following week.  The bookmakers in Las Vegas immediately set the odds against that occurring at a gazillion to one.  The club's first new international member, Mr. T. Hunter of Playa Del Carmen, Mexico; sponsored by. Mr. Carr, was unanimously inducted.  Mr. Dolch has purchased the car for the Bonneville trials, and the club has contributed a sponsorship.  Mr. Carr is developing a blog; however, the newsletter shall continue.  As the result of a special meeting conducted on January 12, 2013, Mr. Browne was officially recognized as Sergeant-at-Arms.  A club trip to the Carousel tobacco shop shall occur on March 9, 2013. Members shall convene at Neon's at 9:00 a.m. The secretary-treasurer shall develop a contact list of names, dates of membership, hobbies and turn-ons for the next meeting. The meeting was adjourned, and the members retreated to the bar for the official club shot.

Running Mates

Staying in top physical shape is a major priority for club members...OK, there is no truth in that last statement but none-the-less, 2 of our officers did do something that resembled exercise. Let’s compare the two:

Team “Bad Boys” at the start of The Bomberos 3-Legged race representing International member Mr. T. Hunter’s beach bar in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. From Left: Mr. T. Hunter-Team Manager, Mario-Team Transport, Kym Carr-Team Director, Vice President Mr. J. Carr-Right Leg and running mate Kjersti Rognes-Left Leg.  Not shown: Ms. Katie Buck Team Photographer.

Facebook

facebook.com/PipeClubofOTR

Congratulations to the Ambassador on the creation and management of the Pipe Club’s facebook page. The Ambassador achieved his lofty goal of 100 likes in the first month.
  Since then, folks have been enjoying the pictures and posts from various outings and have been utilizing the medium for general communications about upcoming events and happenings.

Behind Home Plate

From left: The Ambassador, The President, The Secretary-Treasurer and pipeless member Mr. B. Joyce. Photo bomb courtesy of the VP’s wife Ms. Kym Carr.

Unless Johnson and Joyce are watching Liverpool, the Reds will be on the patio TV and you can always count on a few pipers to be present at the end of the bar. But during weekday afternoon Reds home games (Business Man’s Specials), you can find the Pipe Club assembled in the “standing room only” area behind home plate at Great American Ball Park. Take the afternoon, grab a cheap ticket and join the Pipers rooting on the home team. All are welcome.

The Johnson Report

The 8th Congress

From the Ministry of Finance & Record
Mr. B. Johnson, Secretary-Treasurer
Neon's Unplugged on January 8, 2013

  The 8th Congress convened at -Present were Messrs. M. Walker, J. Carr, R. Browne, B. Johnson, S. Griffith, J. Stepp, M. Flagler, and B. Hague.  Absent were Messrs. J. Back, C. Hochscheid and B. Joyce.  
  President M. Walker whistled the meeting to order.  President Walker utilized a whistle because he misplaced his gavel. Old business was discussed.  The President has done nothing in terms of crafting a mission statement.  He was too busy losing his gavel.  B. Johnson's significant other and life partner continues to work on the Club's crest patch.  Secretary-Treasurer B. Johnson reported a treasury of $130.
In New Business:
Pledge J. Taylor was accepted as a new member.  Ambassador S. Griffith reported no other prospects loomed.  It was decided that Club meetings will occur on the second Wednesday of each month at 6:00 p.m. at Neon's Unplugged.  A field trip to Straus Tobacco was planned for January 12, 2013.
  M. Flagler blandly reported on his trip to Ireland.  B. Hague is working on a comic strip for the next newsletter.  He was also designated as the chair of the Bockfest planning subcommittee.  S. Griffith is working on business cards for the Club. With that, the meeting was adjourned and the members retreated to the bar for the official shot of the club.

Arts & Leisure Suit

Pipe-Up, Sixth & Seventh Congress, HOLIDAY Edition, December 2012

Congrats to the Confessor
 
All members of the Pipe Club extend their hearty congratulations to The Confessor on his upcoming nuptials. As a result of his intended espousal, The Confessor’s collection of inflatable companions will be auctioned off after the first of the year.



Bonneville Speedster

Dolch to purchase Club sponsored Bonneville Speedster. This ‘99 Pontiac Firebird is to be modified with the intent of running it in 2013 in Willmington, OH at The Ohio Mile and later in the summer at the Bonneville Salt Flats, Utah during Speed Week with the goal of exceeding 200 MPH. The car will be embolden with the Club’s Shield which will make it go faster. (NO, we are not allowed to touch it.)


BULLEIT RYE NAMED OFFICIAL SHOT
If anything came from the Sixth Congress it would be the unanimous vote for Bulleit Rye as the Club’s official shot.
Bulleit Rye is a sensitive blend of...Ah screw it...It does the trick. Just ask your bartender for the Pipe Club shot. If they don’t know what you mean, you’re in the wrong place. 

The Back Page
Musings By Mr. J. Back, The Confessor

Fruitcake. I keep fruitcake under my pillow to share with my friends that live under my bed. They come out at night to steal my teeth and nibble cake. They leave crumbs and make my sheets wet. I call them my friends but actually I am terrified of them. I was seeking professional help but my friends under the bed told me to stop. They said what I need is more fruitcake and perhaps
a nutty roll. I like nutty rolls. Do you have friends like mine under your bed?  My friends say you do.

Club Rooms Decorated

Pipe-Up, Sixth & Seventh Congress, HOLIDAY Edition, December 2012

The Pipe Club membership would like to thank Kelsey who spent several evenings decorating the Club’s Library and Lounge Rooms (pictured above) located on the 5th floor of the Neons building. Kelsey adorned the rooms in an English-Country-Manor style taking great care to highlight the Club’s emblem and each members personal tastes which are reflected in her hand-crafted crystal ornaments that festoon the holiday tree. Each member’s unique ornament is hung on the tree according to rank, as is the tradition of the Club, with the exception of the President, whom for some reason, chose to be represented by a strip of cooked bacon.

The Club is also pleased to report that after Kelsey’s unfortunate mishap with the elevator shaft last year, The Rotating Bookcase that provides access to the lift and thus the Club rooms on the 5th floor has been repaired. This repair provided Kelsey a safe environment for ferrying the tree and other decorations into the Club.

Members please note, as a result of the expense for the passage way repair, the Club’s Library, Billiard Room and Lockers will not be decorated this holiday season, however, peppermints, leeks and marzipan will continue to be provided in all rooms of the Club throughout the holiday season.

The Smoke'n Traveler

Pipe-Up, Sixth & Seventh Congress, HOLIDAY Edition, December 2012

Club Vice President, Mr. J. Carr studies the beach culture in Playa-Del-Carmen, Mexico while smoking his Nutty Cut in a Karl Eric briar. Mr. Carr is sporting the “lost luggage” look while contemplating his future design of the “hands-free” coconut bra.

Treasurer, Mr. B. Johnson takes in a game at Horseshoe Stadium in Columbus, OH. He displays his favorite bulldog while thinking about nerdy girls in the band, coconuts and their cosmos.

Happy holidays from the Dicky Dog.

I’m sure some of you will be joining him in the coming year.

Abandon Ship!

And Don't Forget the Tobacco!
By Mr. M. Walker, President
Pipe-Up, Sixth & Seventh Congress, December 2012
In an abandoned brick 4-story in lovely OTR I recently discovered a cache of paper backs and one entitled True Stories of Courage and Survival, selected by the editors of The Saturday Evening Post  (15 copyrights 1938-1966). In that collection was an account titled "The Open Boat (26 pgs)" by Frank E. Croft.

On June 4, 1923 the British tramp SS Trevessa sank 1,700 miles from shore. She was loaded with zinc from Australia headed to South Africa. Within 15 minutes of first pitching forward in the water she was gone. Forty-four sailors henceforth coexisted in two 26ft wooden lifeboats, brutally overcrowded. "In less than 20 minutes they had provisioned the two starboard lifeboats with biscuits, condensed milk, and water. A quantity of cigarettes and tobacco was added; then the boats were lowered (p.7) - my bold."  In the end using sun and stars to navigate they landed on islands in Mauritius. One boat travelled 2,300 miles in 25 days -- one of the longest unbroken voyages in an open boat on record!

But let's return to the tobacco.
 "The total food supply, including the lifeboat's regular stores, was 2 breakers of water (9 gallons), 6 tins of biscuits and 130 tins of condensed milk. Each boat had more than 2,000 cigarettes and about 10 lbs of tobacco. The total of safety matches was about a dozen boxes (p.10) ." The men were intermittently baked and soaked by the elements, frozen then roasted. The daily rationing of water dwindled pathetically from one full tablespoon to half that amount in the final days.

The SS Trevessa was carrying zinc concentrates.

"Twenty-four men in a 26 foot boat, they were jammed together like bleacherites at a ball game. To take a match box or pipe from a pocket required a minor act of contortion. Backs and hips seemed pierced with needles. Legs and arms were stiff and sore. They were hungry, with a hunger which stabbed at their bellies in its first flush of anger. Above all, they were thirsty. They tried to ignore hunger and thirst by smoking, and partially succeeded. Smoking, strangely, did not increase thirst, but allayed it (p.11)."

From time to time I have wondered about the effect smoking has on thirst.  As a land-locked Hoosier boy in the 60's-70's growing up in rural southern Indiana I watched quarry workers blast and cut multi-ton stone blocks. It was all a big heap of dust and sweat. At break time these men white with limestone and lips parched would pull out pipes and cigarettes - before they received their cups of water, implying the tobacco was more important. You could chalk it up to addiction, but I think there is more to it.

The Trevessa was wrecked 1,640 miles west of Fremantle,
one lifeboat made it to Bel-Hombre, the other to
Rodriguez Island. One boat travelled 2,300 miles
in 25 days—One of the longest on record.

"The cigarettes and tobacco were an inestimable boon. They provided a comfort which the survivors afterward said was valued more than food. It was noteworthy that two nonsmokers acquired the habit after the first week, when they saw their fellows deriving so much satisfaction from it. (p.23)." Ten died but though on average 30 pounds lighter miraculously 34 of the 44 sailors survived, over 3 weeks in the open sea. Could tobacco have played a key role in their survival?  We may never know.

Try pursuing a grant today for a study designed to show anything positive coming from tobacco smoking?!  You'd be escorted to an institution. What is clear is in 1923 for the men of the SS Trevessa  smoking pipes and cigarettes was essential to their endurance and to their survival.  Think about it.  In a fast sinking ship you have 20 minutes to provision your life boat, to be stuffed with humanity, what do you include?  In those days on a par with water, biscuits, and condensed milk it was a couple thousand cigarettes and pounds of tobacco!  Today what, twinkies and cell phones? 

So if a cruise is in your future you may consider swinging by Strauss along the way to stock up on provisions.  Who knows, the way cruise ships founder these days you may have just saved your life.

Master mariner Cecil Foster of the Hain Line steamer Trevessa was personally credited with having led over three quarters of his crew to safety. Foster learned survival lessons from his experiences in World War I.

90 years ago he became an overnight celebrity. There were newsreel appearances, a best-selling book and even an audience with King George V.   He died aged 40 in 1930.

VP Explores South of Border

By Mr. J. Carr, Pipe-Up Editor & Chief

Carr arrives at base camp accompanied by his parrot
Mitzy shortly before he became surrounded by natives.

Pipe-Up, Sixth & Seventh Congress, December 2012

The Club’s Vice-President recently returned from an expedition to the Caribbean regions along the Mexican coast in hopes of establishing a foothold for the Club.  Preparations for the trip had been on-going several months prior with the acquisition of supplies, porters and mules for the arduous journey.  A stroke of luck befell Carr when he discovered an aerodrome with flying machines capable of ferrying passengers within 50 kilometers of his intended base camp. Supplies returned, porters discharged and mules eaten, Carr made record time with the lightened load.

While communication with the natives proved difficult, a relationship was established between Carr and a local fish hunter. Dialogue was established via a Canadian interpreter.  Carr, being somewhat fluent in Canadian, was able to make a connection with a Mr. H. Ryan who as it turned out was not native but an American from Memphis who, after going out for a pack of smokes, became lost ending up in this remote tropical location.

Carr defending his base camp from hostile natives.

As a sign of friendship, tobacco was exchanged. Ryan was impressed with the Karl Eric pipe that was offered. Carr was equally impressed with Ryan’s unique blend of local leaf and, after waking up, traded him some shiny beads for more.

After Ryan returned from a hunt in the sea of Mega-Mart, 2 large fish were shared, between the hunter and explorer after which more smoke was taken and several naps in between.

Carr captured this rare photo of the local native
women living in the rafters of the palapa.

Overall Carr found the natives unusual but friendly. Three of the tribal women who lived in the rafters of the main palapa were confused by the pale visitor with the smoking head. The women were soon calmed with the offering of doce pesos (.92c US) each, which they pooled together to purchase libation.

This is when Carr realized the main palapa was in fact a beach bar owned by Ryan. How he missed the steady stream of tourists, flashy lights, live music and extensive array of tequilas must have been a result of the local leaf. Shortly thereafter Carr was handed a tab that had been running since the explorer first arrived and was reminded that the large gratuity expected had not been included in the final summation. Oddly, the natives no longer desired the shiny beads used previously but were insistent on the left-over U.S. currency the explorer had not burned in the warming fire made on the flying machine. Left with nothing more than a few shiny beads, he reflected that selling the mules may have been wiser.

After settling up, Carr and Ryan discussed the future over some of the local leaf. Much was discussed about the club’s rituals and Ryan soon converted to the way of the pipe after Carr explained the black leggings and shorts, while encouraged, were optional. Carr left the village and natives behind with the promise of return. Ryan too promised to honor the rituals or to at least act like it when like-minded tourists were around.

A Gentleman’s Guide to Living

Mr. J. Stepp

The Best Time for a Pipe

By Mr. J. Stepp
Pipe-Up, Sixth & Seventh Congress, December 2012

While one could argue there is no truly bad time for a pipe...Well, maybe there is like while filling your car up with gasoline, or buying fireworks or cradling a newborn baby...

...Let me begin again.

Smoking a pipe is an enjoyable experience but the act is sometimes more enjoyable, and more appropriate, than others.

 Here are a few examples:

Times when you need to relax. Or have fun. Or are about to face a firing squad. After sex. Or before sex. Or even during sex if you’re careful. While wearing a tweed jacket. While relaxing in your club chair after all your other furniture has been repossessed. While drinking scotch or cognac. Or brandy or port. I guess while drinking anything. Drinking and smoking are like yin and yang. Abbott and Costello. Cheech and Chong. (I know a method to easily extract the seeds. But I digress.) While surfing the web for a mail order bride. While mooning Grant at Strauss during a drive by in the ‘68 LTD Presidential Pipe Mobile. After your friends and relatives have told you they are planning an intervention. After you spent your paycheck on a Borsalino fedora and Charlie Mingus records. While watching Rick Steve’s Travel videos or The Food Channel or Bugs Bunny. After dining on a bag of Dorito’s and a 6 pack of High Life.
As you can see, there are many opportunities to enhance an already enjoyable smoke.  So, if you are experiencing the same life enriching experiences as I am.

Join me. Light up!

Round The Front Page

Club President Mr. M. Walker

Walker Predicts Winter
Pipe-Up, Sixth & Seventh Congress, December 2012
Club President Mr. M. Walker made an astounding prediction at the 6th Congress held in October; “Winter is Coming.” Upon assuring the membership that his prediction would coincide with the end of the world, scheduled for December 21st, members voted to reschedule the “destruction of mankind” to the following Friday to better suit their schedules.

Walker’s prediction was proven by scientists who studied several calendars and proclaimed him to be accurate as the words ”Winter Begins” was printed on all annuals used in the research. Scientists confirmed Winter was to begin on December 21st but they decided to reschedule the event to the following Tuesday to coincide with Christmas. Adjusting your calendars in advance is recommended.

Pipe Club Holiday
Cocktail Party
The first annual Pipe Club holiday party will be taking place on December 25th at The Famous Neons Unplugged. All members, their significant others, as well as non members are welcome to gather for this auspicious occasion. The time will be determined by when you arrive. Don’t be late.

JOHNSON IS STUCK UP!

By Mr. B. Rinehart

Club Treasurer, Mr. B. Johnson and a Mr. S. Claus were recently held-up on Fountain Square. Mr. Johnson reports the bandit (who appeared in every way not unlike the Confessor) was holding what appeared to be a weapon or a falafel in a threatening manner. Apart from the perceived threat, the rapscallion was thoughtful enough to snap a pic at Johnson’s request before absconding with several tins of Christmas Blend of which  Johnson was donating to local orphans via Claus.

Authorities claim Claus is not without suspicion in the matter. Records show approximately “eleventy billion” cases of breaking and entering during past holiday seasons may be tied to Claus. He is currently wanted for questioning in both cases and has not responded.

New Members

Pipe-Up, Sixth & Seventh Congress, December 2012

The Pipe Club formally welcomes new members Mr. B. Hague and Mr. C. Hochscheid.

 

Sponsored by the Vice-President, Mr. J. Carr,  Mr. B. Hague was voted in at the 6th Congress. Mr. Hague joins as the club’s “Captain of The Bar” as a result of his superior knowledge of libations and the mixing thereof.

 

Mr. Hague is pictured here enjoying his Danish briar round the wood pile where he often sits to reflect and sometime orate excessively long Norse sagas to an audience of imaginary woodland creatures that he claims to interact with on a regular basis

The Ambassador, Mr. S. Griffith presented  Mr. C. Hochscheid at the 7th Congress. Mr. Hochscheid arrived to the congress with copious amounts of leaf and was quickly voted in so that all members could take advantage of his gracious offering.
 
Mr. Hochscheid enjoys both pipes and cigars, tweeting, cat videos, and long pipe club meetings where nothing gets accomplished.

Sixth & Seventh Congress

At the 6th Congress, Club members welcome in Mr. B. Hague, Captain of The bar into the fold.

Pipe-Up, Sixth & Seventh Congress, December 2012

My Big Johnson Report
From the Ministry of Finance & Records
Mr. B. Johnson, Treasurer
Treasurer's Report: Adjusted for inflation, the balance is: I forgot. Catch me next congress.

Minutes of the Sixth Congress
The 6th Congress convened on October 19, 2012, at Neon's.  Present were Messrs. M. Walker, J. Carr, B. Johnson, S. Griffith, R. Browne and J. Stepp.  Absent with approval were Messrs. J. Back, M. Flagler and B. Joyce.
 Mr. Carr happily reported that he cast his vote, before departing on a two-week fact-finding junket to Mexico. 
 In Old Business, Mr. Griffith reported that he has two potential member pledges, but he has received no on-line applications. He has; however, received several replies to his Christian Mingles ad.  
 In New Business, the Club unanimously approved the membership of Mr. B. Hague.  The Official Club Holiday Party was tentatively scheduled for December 25, 2012.   I had been drinking relatively heavily for a Tuesday (not really, I drink heavily on days that end in Y), so this is where the minutes get a little foggy.
 The topic of Pipe Club attire was discussed, as was the creation of a Club cocktail (assigned to Mr. B. Hague) and shot which was determined to be Bulleit Rye. President M. Walker suggested signage for the Pipe Club-mobile, and Vice President J. Carr said he would send the file containing the crest to a printer guy.  (I'm pretty sure he said "printer guy.")
 President M. Walker will draft a mission statement for the Club, and we shall discuss the location of Club meetings during the long, cold, lonely Winter months.
 The meeting was then closed, and the members retreated to the bar for jocularity and/or merriment.  I shall endeavor
to do better next time with the minutes. 

Mr. C. Hochscheid, seated third from the right, was introduced
at the 7th Congress

Minutes of the Seventh Congress
The 7th Congress convened on November 14, 2012, at Famous Neon's Unplugged.  In attendance were Messrs. Walker, Carr, Johnson, Stepp, Griffith, Browne and Back.  Absent were Messrs. Flagler, Hague and Joyce.
President Walker called the meeting to order.  The handsome treasurer reported a balance of $110 in the coffers.  Minutes from the 6th Congress were approved.
Mr. Griffith nominated Mr. Hochscheid for membership.  After Mr. Hosscenfolhenfelferfeldeir presented a exemplary array of tobacco for the members' use, his nomination was unanimously approved.
Introduced, voted-on & approved; we welcomed Mr. Hochscheid into the club.
Mr. Browne displayed his collection of artistic photographs from his recent fact finding mission to Key West. 
The club's Christmas party shall be at 6:00 p.m. on December 25, 2012, at Famous Neon's Unplugged. Guests are permitted, and gifts for the secretary/treasurer are encouraged.  The 8th Congress may convene during the party, dependent upon the level of sobriety or lack thereof.
President Walker discussed his total lack of effort to draft a club mission statement, and it was determined that a glossary made be needed after the phrases "pack the pipe" and "rub it out" were loosely bandied about.
It was determined that Batsakes will be designated as the official hat shop for the club, and preliminary plans for a club trip to the Schwartz Point jazz club were discussed. —Due to the temperatures and apathy of the members, the meeting was adjourned to the bar.

Arts & Leisure Suit

Pipes & Tattoos Goo Goo G'joob!
Recently, while sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come, I noticed Ms. Danielle of Neons, purveyoress of fine libation, had crowned her knee with an illustrious walrus gent. The monocled Sir is smoking a Calabash pipe with a meerschaum bowl.

No definitive answer yet as to what Sir may be smoking but we suspect it would not be found at our local tobacconist.
I kindly thank Ms. Danielle who was gracious enough to adorn her body in homage to the pipe club, posing for a couple of snappers as well as serving up pints to the musical stylings of her elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna.

The Smoke’n Traveler

Club President, Mr. M. Walker stands outside of a shop in New Orleans. Mr. Walker thinks that the sign is referring to “tobacco pipe” and not one of the many bongs on the top shelf above the Swisher Sweet cigars. He is sporting a white tee and matching plastic cup he found in the street.

Club Vice President, Mr. J. Carr and Ambassador Mr. S. Griffith traveled recently for a Reds game to the far end of the bar. The trip itself was uneventful with the exception of when Mr. B. Johnson, who was to accompany them on the journey, became confused as to which end of the bar they were to destin. A good Samaritan provided directions and after rotating 180 degrees Mr. Johnson eventually found his way in time for the first pitch.





The Back Page
Musings By Mr. J. Back, The Confessor

The French. Hmmmm...the French, let me see...I like their toast. Their toast is good. Sometimes I have their toast in the morning and sometimes I do not. Their toast is very popular so I think they must grow a lot of it. I would like to visit a toast farm and maybe grow some toast of my own. If I grew my own toast it would not be their toast it would be something else...like, just regular toast which is not as good as their toast. I really like their toast.

“So it shall be for all time. If discord has broken out between two beings, let them smoke together. United by this bond, they will live in peace and friendship thereafter.”
-Attributed to the Great Manitu