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| Club President Mr. M. Walker |
Pipe-Up, Sixth & Seventh Congress, December 2012
Club President Mr. M. Walker made an astounding prediction at the 6th Congress held in October; “Winter is Coming.” Upon assuring the membership that his prediction would coincide with the end of the world, scheduled for December 21st, members voted to reschedule the “destruction of mankind” to the following Friday to better suit their schedules.
Walker’s prediction was proven by scientists who studied several calendars and proclaimed him to be accurate as the words ”Winter Begins” was printed on all annuals used in the research. Scientists confirmed Winter was to begin on December 21st but they decided to reschedule the event to the following Tuesday to coincide with Christmas. Adjusting your calendars in advance is recommended.
Cocktail Party
The first annual Pipe Club holiday party will be taking place on December 25th at The Famous Neons Unplugged. All members, their significant others, as well as non members are welcome to gather for this auspicious occasion. The time will be determined by when you arrive. Don’t be late.
JOHNSON IS STUCK UP!By Mr. B. Rinehart
Club Treasurer, Mr. B. Johnson and a Mr. S. Claus were recently held-up on Fountain Square. Mr. Johnson reports the bandit (who appeared in every way not unlike the Confessor) was holding what appeared to be a weapon or a falafel in a threatening manner. Apart from the perceived threat, the rapscallion was thoughtful enough to snap a pic at Johnson’s request before absconding with several tins of Christmas Blend of which Johnson was donating to local orphans via Claus.
Authorities claim Claus is not without suspicion in the matter. Records show approximately “eleventy billion” cases of breaking and entering during past holiday seasons may be tied to Claus. He is currently wanted for questioning in both cases and has not responded.
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