PRESIDENT UNDER FIRE!

Third Congress Edition, August 2012

Club President Mr. M. Walker attempting to flee Neons Bar after dodging questions from investigative reporter Mr. B. Rinehart. Patrons shocked.

Accusations, Rumor, Innuendo
President’s behavior cause for concern!

By Mr. J. Carr

Pipe-Up Editor & Chief

With contributions by:

Mr. B. Rinehart, Hard-nose investigative reporter of stuff.

  Problems first arose for Walker at the Third Congress. Members assembled for the meeting but the President neglected to show. Calls, texts, emails were dispatched with no response. Finally arriving well after the appointed time, sources say that the President appeared confused and despondent.

  A member, who chose not to be identified, had this to say; “The President arrived to the meeting with a white gavel. He began ganging the gavel several times throughout the meeting for little or no reason. It was like he was just banging that gavel to make noise. Bang, bang, bang, order, order. He just kept on about it. It was odd and somewhat concerning.”

Walker’s late arrival  was due course for the membership to vote and label him the “Dicky”; the club’s form of Coventry. Those in attendance say he had trouble grasping the concept.  Further investigation by Hard Nosed Reporter Mr. B. Rinehart found an unsuspecting Walker at the ballpark. The photos here show Walker, engaging in miscreant behavior with what appears to be a large headed woman (or man, we’re not judging) while donning the Club insignia. Walker, who is married, ran from the scene when confronted.

Rinehart visited the Walker home for information but Walker was no where in sight although gavel banging could be heard from inside the home. His wife, Ms. T. Tsubohara-Walker who, when questioned about her husband, had this shocking response: 狂っている！私はこの事実は非常に明白だと思Maritnはい、います。我々は、いくつかの時間のためにこれを知っていた。
After the story-ending statement from Walker’s spouse, Rinehart turned over his notes and prepared to work on the “B. Johnson Is A Robot” story when Walker again blundered.

PREZ GOES DOUBLE DICKY!
It was a simple task assigned to several members before they left town for their respective destinations: Get a photo for the newsletter. Walker, who was destined for New Orleans, boasted of bringing back an image for the Smoke’n Traveler, the likes that no one has ever seen. Upon return, however, the lucid Walker reported not having taken the image as he neglected to bring a camera. Shocked, members had no time to react before Walker himself proclaimed, “I am the Double Dicky!” He is the first in the club’s now disgraced history.  Mr. S. Griffith, Club Ambassador, so embarrassed by Walker’s behavior,  threatened to resign on the spot but retracted his statement after remembering that the club meets regularly in a tavern.  Mr. Griffith’s threat was not taken lightly and an explanation from the President was demanded. This came in the form of a written statement with the Executive Committee hopeful this would quell the crisis. Unfortunately, the statement turned out to be a recipe for gazpacho which, on its own, was pretty good.  After a time, our hard-nosed reporter Rinehart realized that there was less than meets the eye in this story. The President was tight lipped and the members began shying away from the spotlight. Gazpacho Gate never caught on with a group tired of scandal based on rumor and innuendo and with the Reds making a run of it, focus shifted to more leisurely matters.making a run of it, focus shifted to more leisurely matters.

In concluding this story, Rinehart asked a few members their recollections on the whole affair. This is what they had to say;
“ I think some people got carried away. You can’t believe everything you read. I heard some of those pictures were Photoshopped. Its hard to say. They were very well done if they were.”
—Mr. B. Johnson

“I’m not sure what the big deal was. I mean, what, four people tops, on a good day, might read this rag.”
—Mr. J. Stepp

“I had a hard time with it. One night I got so wound up on fishsticks....it was bad man...real bad. After a while I realized it was no big deal...it was just the fishsticks talking.”
—Mr. J. Back

“What?, Did I miss something?”
—Mr. R. Browne

“All in all I think everyone was tired of it. Yes, we have a Double Dicky for a president, but...its just the way things are. We have to live it.”
—Mr. S. Griffith